George Costanza Poem

Costanza by Joe Pardi

Biff T-Bone O'Brien
along with other names
You've even outneiled Neil,
Arthur Vandalay

You eat from the trash
Slip mickeys at bars
You fake handicaps
and drive John Voight's car

Buy cheap invitations
Marisa Tomei
Poor Lilly. Can't stand ya.
Outstanding toupee

You once saved a whale
and led out of a fire
You also won a contest
Curbing your desires

Won high score at Frogger
brought chair for the guard
You red flagged a book
Where's my Christmas card?

You try to sell bras
Give a cashmere sweater
Spend time with the old
Reveal cabin letters

Go put on your sweats
at Monk's we will meet
I love you. I'm hungry.
Let's get something to eat

Big salads, calzones
Bosco and Twix
Ring Dings and Pepsi
but not double dipped

You have gotten hand
because you're the bad seed
Now that you need out
It's not you. It's me.

So you hate George Costanza
and his puffy coat too?
Well the Jerk Store just called
they're running out of you

If you don't watch Seinfeld then this reads like every other poem, incomprehensible drivel. If you're on board, check out Van Buren Boys. Thanks for reading